Hospital Advice

Dear Claire Bear,

First a nap update. Mom fails.
Day One: 1 hour of soothing followed by 45 minutes unswaddled. No afternoon nap.
Day Two: 45 minutes of soothing followed by mom giving up and swaddling you then 1 hour-ish nap. Cat naps on mom for rest of day
Day Three: Out and about so nap training on hold.
Day Four: 15 minutes of soothing followed by 15 minute nap (unswaddled) and then an hour of trying to get you back to sleep. Give up and cat nap on mom for rest of naps.

I think you're winning.

Now, some annoying things I was told in the hospital by so called professionals:

1. Time your babies feeds, track your babies diapers, jot down when your baby sleeps. This is one of those things they tell you in the hospital just to see how quickly  it will make you go insane. A new mom brings home this beautiful little baby/monster and is expected to constantly keep an eye on the clock and a pen and paper near to record every aspect of every bodily fluid that your baby ingests or expels. Unless your child is jaundiced or has another medical reason to do this, it is useless. You had no schedule and you thrived on pretending to have a schedule then suddenly jumping ship just when we thought we had it figured out. Also you tended to sleep in 10-15 minute increments or do the fake out where you fall asleep 12 times before you would actually stay asleep. Oh and the pretending to be sleepy and then turning into a grinning little manic monkey was another favorite trick of yours (I didn't mind this trick so much as you were just too adorable!).  I have a paper lying around somewhere from one of the first days of momhood stating that you went to sleep at 10:00am 10:07, 10:13 and 10:22. Also I would invariably forget to write down a feeding or diaper change and panic upon reading that the baby hadn't eaten in 7 hours. Next time (assuming one day you will have a baby brother or sister) I will save myself the hassle. When baby cries check diaper. If diaper is clean then feed. Generally one of those will work but sometimes baby will just cry. Accept that the 'bounce and pat' or a variety of that maneuver will be a major part of your day from now on.

2. Not to let the baby spend too long in the swing or bouncy chair. I say a happy mommy is a healthy mommy and that baby needs both a happy mommy and a healthy mommy to strive. There were times when nothing would stop you crying other than putting you in the swing and playing that horrible monotone lullaby...so I did. You were happy, I was happy. As I said in a previous post, your flat head is totally fixable (not that the swing gave you a flat head, you did that by refusing to turn your head to one side or the other while you sleep...you are a wonderfully stubborn child)

3. Use a pacifier. The 'experts' seem to think this will cause nipple confusion. You already had nipple confusion whereby you thought my nipples were actually chew toys so introducing the soother did nothing other than give me a break. Also you are a baby who doesn't need to have the soother re-inserted every 10 minutes after you go to bed (except during naps, grr!) which is so wonderful for mommy. Keep that up! It will count as bonus points toward the promised car in your future. Maybe I'll spring for some fuzzy dice in the window!

4. Introducing the bottle too early. Another case of possible nipple confusion. I've heard this could happen but you had no trouble. I don't think you really care where the milk comes from as long as it's available upon demand in sufficient quantities. And it also helped Dad so he didn't have to miss out on those special 2:00am feedings that everyone tells us to enjoy because 'they grow up so fast'.

5. Sleep when the baby sleeps. In theory this is great advice. It just didn't work for me. At all. I love my sleep but there is nothing worse than lying down with a peacefully sleeping baby, getting just to the point of a nice deep sleep and then having your heart jump into your throat when the baby screams bloody murder out of the blue (as you were wont to do). You were (and still are) a power cat napper. The baby books say that babies are supposed to sleep something like 14 hours out of every 24. You do this, however you do all your daytime sleeping in 20 minute or less increments. If I am exhausted and lie down for a 15 minute nap I wake up like a zombie.

6. Buy intellectually stimulating toys. Okay yes in theory (again) this is a good idea. Every parent wants to give their child toys that will help with your development. Great. However, spending money on these things is usually a waste unless they have another purpose (I would not be without your bouncy chair or exersaucer for anything). So far your favorite toys are, in order: a) bag of unopened chips. You love the crinkly sound and the color b) a couple of black and white pictures of dots and shapes that I painted you c) the dollar store rubber ducky you daddy bought you. You have no interest in those baby genius things or the toys that play classical music. You are a reggae and salsa girl. I predict you will like travelling when you are older :D

7. Get baby on a schedule. NOT A CHANCE. At least not until you were pretty much three months old. Then you just adopted a schedule and left it up to your dad and I to figure it out.

Sleep tight baby girl,
Mom